Everything is happening so fast..

2011-10-29T00:47:00.002+08:00

Realised that the last post was on a high note. And so I shall conclude this blog on a high note to announce that I've shifted! Have been using wordpress for quite some time for various reasons.

Started my new blog in wordpress ever since to blog about work, and life. That marks a new chapter as an adult, a working adult. This blog accompanied me through my student life, therefore it seems right that I should end it once I've started work. Yea, I know I blogged twice in this blog about my work right? But let's just leave it there cos I'm just too lazy to move them to wordpress. Another reason perhaps is because I used to write blogs so that people read it. But since I only gave my blog link to one person so far, wordpress blog is very much a secret and relatively unknown. Many personal things are up there, quite personal that I do not wish to talk about. So yup.

Ciaos to this blog. Memories shall be kept as it is. I guess I'll read it once in a while, a reminiscence of the past, of the bittersweet memories. New memories are created, recorded and kept somewhere else.

Adios!

2011-07-10T23:28:00.003+08:00

The weekend is over just like that!! What an unproductive weekend I had.

The working world is really a scary place. It's laiden with hidden traps that you unwittingly step on. What could be a minor mistake could eventually effect an entire system. A mere oversight could eventually cause a whole lot of trouble. Perhaps I was a a tad more careless than other people. Perhaps I was just not as meticulous as I thought I was. It's rather sad knowing what a mindless and seemingly harmless action could cause to a person. Yet, there's nothing much that I can do but to apologise and remember the mistake to prevent future incidents.

Oh well, what's passed is the past. Learning to tread on the water and more vigilant.

On a side note, it's a puzzling yet exciting experience for me at the moment. One that I have no idea would lie for me in the future. A happy ending? Or would it be like any other passerby that just happens to write a small chapter in my life? I'm not too sure. Whatever it is, it doesn't pay to be too involved in someone. Not when you have no idea how much you matter them.

I'm trying to figure it out. Constantly reminding myself not to get too involved.

2011-07-05T22:43:00.002+08:00

long time since i last blogged! and my mind is in a blank as i'm kinda blogging for the sake of doing so..haha..On a side note, I never thought I could sign in to this account again, judging that I have not logged in since goodness knows when.

Time flies. I've graduated and worked for 3 months. Had I decided to go overseas to further my studies, I'd be in Australia now.

Mental health setting is indeed a tough place to work in especially when there is no clear structure. While I fumble through, I learn. I get my opportunity to do anything and almost everything I want. Despite being in a mental health setting, I'm glad my supervisor has given me a chance to do physical rehab stuffs too as it helps improve the residents' quality of life.

Ran my first 5km registered run on Sunday with cousins and it was great! A good experience and good test of determination. Have to admit I wasn't very disciplined. Initially wanted to run the entire length, but I gave up about halfway through the race. Really hard to pick up the momentum to run again after I stopped and I ended up brisk walking my way. Despite that, I was able to sprint through the last 100m of the race! Noticed that I somehow have the energy to do sprinting in the last 200m of any running events (am thinking of the GE Run and my 2.4km runs here) Therefore, I realise that my muscles are mainly red fiber ones! Perhaps I'd make a good sprinter if I trained hard enough last time. Haha.

2010-06-14T00:02:00.003+08:00

This is my haven!

Haven't blogged for months. And I'm finally having holidays!

Year 3 Sem 1 Term 1 just passed by like that, we only had school for like 5 weeks? another 5 weeks or so and I'm out of school again!

CE3A was good, minus the fact that i was a little more passive. I WILL BE A MORE ACTIVE LEARNER IN THE COMING ATTACHMENTS! And I have to be! Time seriously flies cos in a year's time, I'm going to graduate and become a therapist.

Had director's list presentation on the last Wednesday of the school term and once again I'm motivated to study hard(er) and aim to be in the list (at least once!!). GPA score has been dropping since Year 1 so I have to work hard! Which is to say holidays is the time i catch up on my work. hahaha..

So tempted to go play pool, watch my TV show. I'm a TV addict. to the max. LOL.

Anyway, something drastic happened last night which left me in shock. Exactly how vicious/violent a person can get? Hopefully things will turn out to be fine.=)

2010-02-02T01:04:00.002+08:00

right right..so now i've stepped on your toes. probably i've really gone passed my boundaries. but hey, i hope you understand. its not as if i know ur family k. if i know ur family, i'd gladly tell you that i'd get it even when u're not home. but the thing is, i dun even know them! and to begin with, i'm not that close to you. so what am i suppose to tell whoever opens the door?

me: '' hi, i'm here to collect what XX helped me scan in.''
family: ''oh, there you go.''
me: ''thanks. bye''

um..okay..if thats really what you want. i'd go there like a postman. but i'm more free in the afternoon. you should know me good enough that i don't go out AT NIGHT. what's more is that i dun even have sch tmr!

so much for me trying to get you smth in this big mall. just so that i can get it to you to thank you. the turmoil of wondering what exactly should i get for you that is practical, what is useful. the turmoil of wondering ''is it really worth going through all these hussle and bussle just so that i can please you?''

not like you're going to read this blog. but i just want you to know. everything is done with a reason. irritation has set in. i know. no worries, you won't hear anymore from me after tmr.

probably till the day our friend flies off and we meet up. things may not be the same again.

2010-01-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
便有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很宽广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

2009-12-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

《时间，旅途》

好累好累

好想停下脚步

扎营停住

然而时间仓促

催我赶路

赶往未来旅途

2009-09-06T00:15:00.002+08:00

心里的惆怅是否会随着岁月而增加？对我来说这问题的答案好像是是。
随着我一天一天地长大，感觉上烦恼的事越来越多，人情世故也越来越复杂。看《光阴的故事》汪茜茜说过:" 从矮处看世界，感觉世界好大，好壮观，但是随着人长大，世界从眼平去看，就会看见它的这面目，看见世界的丑陋。" 她说得好对哦。小时候得我们，因小时翻脸，却在短时间内符合。说绝交，但不到五分钟就又玩在一起。长大了，说绝交就真的绝交。就算以后和好了，仍是由心结。随着我们踏进社会，我们看到的是人类的勾心斗角，算计。

长大并不像小时候想象的一样好玩。长大了，责任多了，想要的幸福快乐也变得复杂。小时候得到心仪的玩具让我们乐得不可开交，长大了，希望靠近梦想的大学得到一份高薪的工作让我们得到短暂的满足。然而，我们的贪婪无厌让我们向盘上事业的顶端，世界的第一，其他人有的，我们也要。其他人没有的，我们也要。怎么样才会让我们满足呢？

是否要求安逸的生活是没志气的？为什么我们厂追求物质的享受？为什么我们输不起的个性总是让我们不快乐？为什么没有名利我们就不甘心？满足人类的虚荣心到底是为了什么？就只是希望其他人能以崇拜的眼光看待我们吗？

2009-08-18T00:05:00.000+08:00

a recent spate of events left me moody once again. I guess moodiness is the only drive that makes me blog since I have no idea where else I can vent out my moodiness. An accident involving my primary school playmate left me thinking once again about the vulnerability of life. No doubt she is well recuperating in the hospital, I can help but think that life is so fragile. It has once again shown how important the phrase "treasure the others before" is. This phrase always pops up to me whenever something drastic happens. I rethink about the friendships forged, how I have not been trying to keep up with these friends whom I may once have been really close to.

This year, many reunions have been surfacing-primary 2 class gathering has been on the talk for months, secondary school HMT pals, primary 6 classmates, JC classmates. All heard of but never materialised. Ok, maybe I should say I only managed to meet up with my primary 6 classmates. After 6 years, we've finally met. Really cool to have met up with them. Hopefully, more of such gatherings would occur. It's really nice to see how much all of us have changed yet remain the same(maybe) after all these years. The amazing thing is that we are atill able to recognise each other after all these years.

Oh well, all's said and done. What has passed has passed. No point crying over split milk. Exam's just this Thursday. Time to mug and work towards my goal.
Goal: UoS!!!=))

2009-05-18T23:53:00.002+08:00

IT'S FINALLY OVER!After all that hassle with publicity,elections are finally over.Though I got a post that I wasn't really very keen(Liaison & Logistics Officer),and not a post that I was running for in the first place,it's still something I have not tried before.So yep,I'd just have to brace with whatever is coming.=)

Foresee a busy year 2 school life with the SC coming up,but hopefully studies would not be affected.THe promise made to myself is not forgotten and it will be my ultimate goal.

2009-05-07T00:10:00.002+08:00

In an twinkling of an eye, we've entered week 3 of Year 2, Sem1.In that one year in OT, I wondered to myself, what have I learnt?How are they useful to me in future when I am a practicing clinician?All the answers were pretty fuzzy initially. Yet now as a year 2 student, I gradually understand their importance. Anatomy lays my foundation for BSM,which then allows me to know which muscles are activated under what conditions, hence allowing me to know what deficits a client would have with a lesion in that muscle. Sociology allows me to know how culture and family influences one's values and beliefs, thus reinforcing the fact that each individual is unique.Psychology lays my foundation for Psych disorders as well as to LLD,and perhaps Play and School.OT modules lays my foundation for future transfers,reasoning and many many more.

I wonder if I do have the appropriate time management skills with the increasing workload, adding on to the coming new role as the EXCO for the SC. Hopefully this would not add on to my current workload.

Was supposed to try out lifeguard today but since twinnie ended lesson late, we didn't go.Had dinner with clique and it brightened up my day.Missed the laughter that we had and it is one of those rare days where I get to go home with them again now that I'm not in the same class as them.

Haha,haven't blogged for months and I'm losing the hang of it.I need to brush up my english as well as my chinese.Is it really possible for one to be bilingual?I wonder.

2009-02-25T23:25:00.005+08:00

HOLIDAY ARE FINALLY HERE!It has been such an arduous journey getting by Year 1 Sem 2.But I'm glad we made it through!For once,I really feel the bond between people. There is no clear distinction which class anyone is in.We do things ogether,as an OT Year 1 cohort.And I have to say that is a really great feeling.

Just came back from our OT chalet,and it was really fun!Almost the entire cohort turned up and all of us had lotsa fun.Desiree, Eunice,Justyn and Chee Kiong were sitting in a corner,drinking,going really high.Syams came and all of us were really glad to meet him again.Some went for night cycling,others just sitting around chatting.

Went for kbox with the OT cohort on Monday to celebrate sylvia's birthday.Surprised her at kbox in amk and sang our hearts out with songs that most of us know.IT has been a really LONG time since I enjoyed myself so much.Whee!

Gonna go for UKM in KL next Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it!OT rocks my world.=))

Aim: 1)To be a good clinician upon graduation
2)To go to UoS upon graduation

2009-01-06T00:12:00.005+08:00

Today perhaps is the most inspiring day in 2009. Guest speaker,Mr Gilbert Tan, a c5 SCI tetraplegic came to gave us a talk about his life as a disabled.This talk aims to give us a picture of how life is like from the client's perspective. Initially, I thought it was yet another boring talk that most of us always always have.But I was darn wrong.

He was engaging, with a sense of humour.HE was really optimistic and "handicapable".How the doctor gave him only 5 years to live after the accident and now he's still alive after 26 years post-accident and the doctor is dead. The way he deals with problems really makes me realise how fortunate I am to be abled,with fully intact senses.He used to play the guitar, but now he can't. As a fellow guitarist, I know how much this could have meant to him,to lose the ability to move his fingers(UTS:no fine motor skills).

His story also made me realise how as OTs and PTs, we can touch lives,if Gilbert's PT had not told him, " Being disabled is not unabled. Not handicapped, but handicapable." (Writings- My Expereience as an Disabled Person ) Perhaps, he may not have stayed strong and be what he is today.

He sang for us two of his composition 'Live life' and 'Can I Wash Your Feet', his words touched me. For once, pitch did not matter to me, but the words and feeling put into the song. An important lesson learnt today: Disabled can be THIS abled. The 5C's in life was also really meaningful,not anything more than material gains, but more spiritual.(it's getting long and late, shan't elaborate on his 5C's..)

"Singaporeans are perpetually busy, though they are generous at giving cash and kind, the thought of giving up precious time deters too many from being a friend to the disadvantaged, the disabled, the poor and needy. Learning that a disabled person still chooses to do community work will perhaps confront the excuses and reasons and maybe lead a few to consider making a difference in people's lives." - Gilbert Tan

So here's the link to his website!He totally inspired me that I should be a good OT.=D
Living Life With Gilbert Tan- Mouth Artist, Composer, Singer

(attempting to do proper referencing..lolx)

2009-01-03T01:52:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2009!!

First post for the year and i have absolutely nothing to post about.Fell sick when school started and now down with sore throat.Wonder when will the day comes when i can just go offline without checking if he's online?Sock,I hope you'll have happy ending.Cos mine seems quite impossible.=)

Nevertheless,its SEM 2 WEEK 12!2 more weeks to physio ICA, 3 weeks to anat ICA.Time to be friends with Martini, Moore and McMinn.Hopefully I can ace my modules,otherwise B+ is the least that I hope I can get.

Jia You to OT1's!(there no longer seem to be a clear segregation between the 2 class anymore except during tutorials ,but i still miss my fellow 72-ers who accompany me to my bus stop.)

2008-12-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

Another death proved the vulnerability of life. For someone who lived past the age of 90 and still going strong, I admire her colourful life. It was a pity that I couldnt hear from her the hardships she went through. World War II. Death of husband due to opium. Bringing 6 children up single-handedly. Enjoying the fruits of her labour.

She was all but a lady who seemed to have gone through more than what was expected. World War was hard enough. Then came the death of her husband. From a housewife to a working force. Big change. Everything was written on her face, yet not a single word was uttered.

To me, she was a kind lady with few words. No matter how unapproachable, she was one that many loved. One that many adored and never thought to give up on her no matter how ill she became on her last few months of life.

Prayers to thank her were read, to thank her for nurturing us to who we are. To thank her for giving us the chance to repay her. You left with us your children, who we will take care of.

On this note, I hope you'll rest in peace.
16-11-2008

2008-10-07T00:28:00.002+08:00

time to delete away his msn again.i'm distracted.

twilight is a truly great story.suffering from the post twilight syndrome now.it's an amazement and after-effect that i don't remember feeling with the highly popular Harry Potter series.can't wait for the movie to be out in Nov.DESIREE!!I'm so gonna book you to watch TWILIGHT!!hahax.

2008-09-17T14:22:00.002+08:00

Holidays have come and it's going away.Days are going by too fast!In a twinkling of an eye,almost half of my holidays are gone and I have absoulutely no idea what I've been doing.

Did relief this week and last week.Was supposed to relief a Chinese teacher for last and til today due to N level marking,but she came back ytd.So I'm out of job and able to enjoy my holiday.Spent the day tidying my room.Didnt manage to clean much,just rearranged things,throw things,stuff things.haha!Amazed at the amount of things I've kept for the past 5- 10 years?hahx,it just shows how sentimental I am!=P Nevertheless, I decided to throw away some stuffs which I thought doesn't have much significant value(e.g. posters and magazines of idols who I used to go crazy over.Anyway,those 'news' in there are already outdated)

OT0801 went to the Night Safari on 25th Aug!Will upload photos only when I manage to locate where the photos are..It's really fun going out with them.Doing silly things,daring things,listening to Desiree's crap,Sock's acting insane,our out-of-situation conversation.haha!Love OT0801!Sad to say that we'll be separated in Sem 2.But yea,I know we'll just carry on our nonsense whenever we meet!=D

Guesspretty much sum up what I've been doing.Busy with SAOTSC and alumni.Hope I'll have time to do some revision and reading before school starts!

Adios.

2008-08-19T16:03:00.003+08:00

2 more days to the end of exams!!yayness.Finally Sem 1 is over.hahax.Now that term is ending,its time to be active again in Alumni.Teachers' Day Video,Playoffs,PROM!gosh..the theme for prom has still not been settled.What theme???!!!

Anyway,here's some photos of a cute baby..=)

2008-08-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

Was blog hopping and read Hui Wen's blog on an entry about Mr Maxx.

It reminded me of the day when I received the SMS about his death from Clarence.10 Aug,Tuesday(yeah,I still remember it clearly..heh)That was the day when I felt overwhelmed with emotions.Keeping my voice calm and steady when I told my parents that I had to attend his funeral and stuffs.Angry that I disappointed him,that I wasn't sensitive enough to his feelings at times,that I didn't realise how much acceptance and assurance he needed from us.It was also then that I realise how each little gestures can mean so much to a person,how we can regrets.I was so overwhelmed with grieve the next day that I had no mood for lessons.Mr Ng led us for a minute of silence during Chinese lesson as we had NAPFA in the morning.I cried.There were so many things that I had no chance to go to him.

Nevertheless,it's all the past.I'll treat Joelson well,shan't make him feel that our class is ostracising him in anyway.That seems to be the least that I can do to make up for the loss.I shall give others reassurance if this is something that I failed to give you.God bless.You'll remain deeply etched in my memory.

Oh well,this is like the 'n'th time I'm blogging about him!I think that made up for the times when I didn't blog about you when you were alive already right?You can't complain that I didn't blog much about you anymore!See how much I remember you.hehx.Loves

2008-08-03T23:38:00.003+08:00

OMG!!!!I couldnt believe he actually read my blog!!How much does he know?I hope he doesn't know much though..=X Gitters in my stomach..Wth,I'm such a confused person..Don't even know I want exactly..

Slacking week ahead,2 weeks of school and I'd say exams starts!unofficially though,but that's the beginning of the exams.Feel as if I've not studied enough to get my ideal grades.I gotta do well enough to prove to dad that I'm doing well for my course!=)Hopefully I can get A for some modules..(cross fingers..)

Uni friends are all starting their school term.No time to meet up with them.On the bright side,they'll be slogging away their asses while I'm enjoying my hols!hahx..right,I sound really mean..hehx..Jia You Friends!Shall visit you guys at NUS or NTU when I'm free..hohoho..=)

OT0801 JIA YOU!('best friends forever eh?hehx..)

2008-07-31T23:53:00.002+08:00

Third time I'm blogging today.Everytime i sign onto MSN, it seems to be a ritual to scroll down and check if he's online.No way.I'm not going to let it happen again.I've deleted him away from my contacts,just didn't block him that's all.

Somehow or other,he just keeps intruding into my mind today.He draws me to my comp,keeping a look out to see if he's online.I'm falling too deep into this dark abyss.Time to draw out of it.3 weeks to determine my results

2008-07-31T14:20:00.003+08:00

Lost the momentum to study.Keep thinking about him.Crap.What's wrong with me?I need to keep myself occupied.

I got to start studying.Exams just next week and I'm not even 20% familiar with my physiology.I've not started anatomy.Sociology next wed, OTTP 1A on thur,I've not even started on them.

I need and want to let go.I shall not let this ruin our friendship.

2008-07-31T11:20:00.002+08:00

Was browsing through blogs and so many were blogging about going for uni orientation.It just dawned on me how different life at uni and poly would be.Just the orientation alone tells it all.

Went back to NYJC on mon,met up with the teachers,chatted with them.All of them were shocked that I was in poly.Well,could tell from their expression that there's still a stigma on people going poly after JC life.But hey,this is a uni course which has been compressed to fit into the poly regime.If I had told you I'm overseas,I know your expression would be different.But in fact,I'm doing the same course.So why the prejudice?

Random thoughts went through my mind last night.Would he ever bother about me now that I'm not in any way troubled?He seems to be attached again.Doubt he's gonna give a damn about me already.

I left a foot print in his life.
He left an indelible print in my life.
HE said we'd meet.
I told him he'll plan our meeting.
I wonder if he really did.
Perhaps it was perfunctory,
Yet I took it for real.
Guess I'm just naive,gullible
To believe all that he said.

Time to move on.Yet I wonder if it's possible.

Whatever it is,I gotta concentrate on my studies for now.JIA YOU!=D

2008-07-26T00:45:00.002+08:00

New hairstyle!!!After almost 10 years of long hair, it's finally shorter.hahax.wanted it to be even shorter initially but e hairdresser said it wouldnt keep my hair straight.so yep.It feels kinda weird with short fringe though.hah!!

It's his 21st birthday today(rather,it means yesterday now),didn't send wishes to him cos he doesn't know that I know it's his birthday.I believe his friends celebrated for him though, judging by his MSN nick.Doubt he knows this blog exist,nevertheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!You're legally an adult now.Enjoy adulthood!=)

Week 15 of schooljust ended.EXAMS COMING!!Feel very unprepared,especially for physiology,don't seem to know anything at all. =X I need someone to tutor me physiology!!exams starts on 6 Aug, ends on 21st Aug.One extra week of hols compared to the rest of e cohort.Yay!!Have to really play hard this holiday cos that is gonna be the only holiday that there's no attachment for us.

JIA YOU OT 0801!!We're all gonna overcome this hurdle..=)

2008-07-15T23:35:00.002+08:00

I AM SO TOTALLY DISTURBED AND DISGUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, as most of you guys know(i hope) that I hardly hate people.But this time,I've seriously reached the limit.I totally abhor that person!!!!

Anyone in the right frame of mind that usually words that degrade women would bot be used unnecessary unless one really hates that woman.Nobody uses degrading words to joke to a female.Hey man,please know what's right and wrong k?Please don't act as if nothing is wrong just by denying everything..So what if you deny in front of us?Your conscience will act up on you someday.The fact that someone tells you that it's wrong to do something means that it is WRONG!Especially when more than 10 persons tell you the same thing,it seriously means that you are wrong!You went against the social norms!!

Urgh..Okay,it really sounds like I hate you alot.Well,I don't deny this fact.Anger just surge up and blinds the part of me that says I gotta be friendly with you whenever I see you.Really sorry for that.Feel really sorry for you cos you really seem to have no idea what the norms are.We can help, provided you are willing to receive help from us and stop living in self-denial.Prove to me that you can be a nice and 'normal' person.Otherwise,forget the fact that I can be nice to you.

2008-07-12T00:38:00.003+08:00

was looking thorugh which blogs were no longer in use and realised that many of my friends have stopped blogging.hahax..amazing how fast such fads just die off over time.every year every generation there'd be somthing that is so popular among the group and you realise that it's popping up everywhere.then as time goes by,you realise the number of people that were just setting up these accounts to keep up with trends.

not to say that i'm not one of them but yea,it doesn't make much sense to be creating so many accounts of similar variety(eg. friendster, facebook,flickr etc etc..)

oh wells, that was just a penny for a thought though.

exam timetable is out!last pape is on 21st!that means that i'm gonna get 1 more week of hols than stated in that handbook.seniors and tutors say that's probably the only hols we're gonna get!afterwhich,subsequent hols would be spent at the hospitals and clinics.not that it's, since we get exposed to what our job does, but yea, i can't imagine that situation where i'm gonna spend my hols trying to keep up to work.hehe.saturdays and sundays would be all that i'm going to have then i guess.=)

P.S. hwee!!i changed my 'intro' le..hah!=P

2008-06-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

Feel so stressed now.I finally learnt the big lesson on how serious the consequence can be if one is careless.This is such a big price that I really have no idea how I should break the news.If I had read the contract more carefully, this wouldn't have happened.

If I had read the contract carefully, I would be able to negotiate more with the hotel and none of this would have happened.Now, I'm staring at the screen,wondering how should I tell Miss Ming about it.

Big lesson learnt.=(

2008-06-08T00:05:00.003+08:00

Friday marked the end of week 8,which meant that our holidays are here!!Well,the class ended our day in a pretty low note due to the fact that Fang Li would be leaving us to study in FASS and Phebe broke the news that she'd be leaving to retake her A's.From a class strength of 19,we're now left with 16(Chern Ling withdrew weeks ago).It's really sad seeing them leave having mugged and braved through all the anat lab sessions together.Nevertheless,they thought long and hard before making this decision.Then again,we'll still be able to meet during the hols.
All the best girls!

Now that holiday has started,it means that it's time to start mugging physiology!!8 weeks worth of notes to study.Gotta really pull up my socks for this module considering the fact that I've not been paying attention to any of Dr Tan's lect.haha!1 project and 2 tests down!That means that I'm left with 2 more projects and 1 more test.haha,life in poly isnt what I imagined it would be.Sometimes,it seems tougher than studying A's.Oh wells,I made the choice myself.Doubt uni life would be any easier.haha!

2008-05-31T23:42:00.002+08:00

A touching story my classmate email me.It's abit lengthy,but it's nevertheless good. Enjoy.=)

Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line,there isn't one. Read it anyway.

My question is: Would you have made the same choice?At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the schooland its dedicated staff, he offered a question:'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does,is done with perfection.Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do.He cannot understand things as other children do.Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity torealize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed toplay, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much)if Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning.I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob theball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ballright back to the pitcher.The game would now be over.The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman .Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head,out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance tobe the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing short stop ran to help himby turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!Shay, run to third!'As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators,were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices,people hesitate.The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, butpublic discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren'tthe 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realizethe 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present uswith a choice:Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in theprocess?A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats its least fortunate amongst them.

2008-05-19T00:36:00.003+08:00

Entering week 6 of school.Time simply flies!I really enjoy school alot despite the pretty packed timetable and workload that I've got.OT0801 just makes my day.The bunch of wonderful friends I've made is really worth the tears.I laughed hard,I worked hard like never before.The laughter I lost in JC is found.The motivation to study has been found.

Just when I thought this seems to be what I really want to be.Something made me think twice about the decision I've made-the patients.What if I can't take the kind of stress when I face patients?What if I freak out when I see the extent of damage accidents have done to them that I backed out?I'm really scared.

Negative thoughts flooded me since I last heard what happened to a girl who quit the course after she saw a patient who lost most of his brain and saw what was left of the head.One big dent in the front.Will it happen to me?Will I be like that girl?I lost faith in myself.

Out of the blue,I wonder what if one day I just sleep and never wakes up.Many patients slept and woke up realising that half their body is paralysed,numb.It's possible that one day we'll just sleep and not wake.The way our brain is structured makes it totally unfathomable to what can really happen next.We really got to treasure what we have,our friends,family,ourselves.Cos we never know what will happen the next moment.

Feeling so emo all of a sudden.Rarrh.The emo bug invaded me all over again.I need laughter,I need work.I gotta occupy myself to drive these thoughts out.Hopefully the next time I type.I'll not be so emo.=)

2008-05-05T23:47:00.003+08:00

NUS and NTU sent their letters on Friday.As expected,another round of arguments came about.Dad came talking about how he wants me to go to uni blah blah blah.Despite the fact that this was within my expectation(him talking about this all over again).It just hurts to hear him say those stuffs all over again.OT has no prospects,I can't go anywhere without a cert etc.

It has been almost 2 months since he's brooding over this and he just cant seem to get over it.Am irritated and at the same time unfathomable.One moment,he's not that angry,then suddenly he's all stubborn again.Temper changes as fast as the weather.

Wanted to call him ad talk to him about this very much but I have no idea how to broach the subject to him.Have talked to him about this for almost 2 months too?Don't wish to bother him too much with my stuffs when he's so busy and especially when this is what we always talk about on the phone.Waste of phone bill!Talking about the same thing all over again.

4th week of studies.More muscles to learn!trying hard to learn them by hard but it's really hard!Physiology is getting slightly easier to learn with all those about blood and the body system.We've finally moved away from the Bio part I think.Have a presentation next week.Isn't that fast?Only week 4 and we have about 5 projects to be done.Majority to be presented on week 8.

My motivation:good grades for all my modules(at least a B for starters) and hopefully,I'll be in the top 5% by year 3!!!=)

2008-04-27T23:31:00.002+08:00

back to blog again.end of Week 2 of schooling.Am trying really hard to get back into the swing of studying again.Well,it's time to get rid of the stigma that studying in poly is slack cos it so totally isn't slack!Things that I'm learning are equivalent to taking a few core subs in uni I guess.Anatomy is fun but the terms and names are so alien to me that I have a really hard time trying to get them firmly lodged to my head.Only learnt 7 muscles for now and I spent almost 3 days getting the names and positions right.Apparently by the time we take our sem exam,we'll have learnt 70 muscles!gosh..hopefully I'l be able to get all the names and positions right by then and not have them all jumbled up..hahax.Physiology is still a big obstacle for me.All the bio-based terminology is making me confused.Nevertheless,I'll start mugging on this module when I have my textbook.

And my textbooks seriously cost a bomb..Spent almost $150 on 3 books- anatomy and 1 medical dictionary.so expnsive!argh..nvm,think it's better than me going to FoS and spend more..hahax

Dad's still angry I think.Still not talking to me.Mum seems to have menopause le.Having major moodswings.Sometimes she's so pissed with dad for going out in the wee hours of the night and sometimes she's alright with him and asks him out for lunch.urgh.whatever.I shall concentrate on my studies of bones and muscles.

Trying really hard to get rid of the bad habit of coming online practically everydya but it seems so hard!Seriously can't afford to spend so much time on this virtual world when there's so many thigns waiting for me to read about in the real world.Oh well friends,if you ever see me online again,must ask me why I'm not studying okie?Must kick off this bad habit..yay...

2008-04-18T23:52:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU FRIENDS(not forgetting my dear cousins..)!

A week since school has started.Schooling is definitely much better than teaching,all the preparation before the lessons simply eats away all the free time.Conclusion?Being a student is good!

Had attending practically all my subject lectures already and so far,Physiology is the one that I'm totally lost during lecture.IT's very Bio based and without any knowledge of Bio,it's hard to understand what's going on.Luckily,there's people who took Bio in class and they're always being bombarded with questions by us the non-Bio students.

I think our class is pretty bonded-going everywhere and doing almost everything together.That's a very nice thing to have in school I guess.When you really get the chance to know your classmates well.OT0801 rocks I guess.Hopefully we'll be able to keep up with this till we end our 3 years in school.

Had the CCA fair in school today and I guess I'm mad!Signed up for 4 or 5 CCAs and they're all sports CCA.Gosh.This is seriously the first time I'm so into sports.Haha!Hopefully this would not pull down my studies though.

Right,I guess that's all for now.Despite problems at home,I realise I'm not the only one who's facing the same problem as I do.A few of my classmates faced objections too.It's part and parcel of becoming and OT I guess.Training to be a more determined and resilient person.JIA YOU!

2008-04-15T23:43:00.002+08:00

2 days since I've started school.Things are pretty alright.But coping with so many subjects that I've not done before really caught me off hand.Physiology studies lots of Bio stuff,hence I'm always lost during lecture.Had my first Psychology lecture and I think that should be better than Physiology.Anatomy is much easier since whatever we learn can be easily found and seen on our body.

Many things happened within the last 24 hours.I can't imagine that I've actually survived through that.Talked to him about what happened last night.Talked for almore 40 mins but I think we spent more than 10 min in silence with me crying.So sorry about that.Was feeling really down until things were slightly resolved.

I guess he's right.I keep stumbling and thinking about things.I care too much about what other people say to the extent that it influences my decision.I guess I was just being stubborn.Seriously stubborn.I don't wish to give up.I want a win-win situation though I know that it is a near impossible ending.Hopefully I can get this situation in the end no matter how tough and tiring this fight is going to be.

No matter how much I disagree.I think that he has changed me somehow.I used to give in really easily.The me now gives in less easily,knowing that what I want keeps me going.I've grown to be more resilient and I hope I would one day be less reliant on others.This is my next gosl.Independence.

I have and will strive hard to prove that my decision is right.You kept me on my path.Thank you.

2008-04-09T17:37:00.002+08:00

3 weeks since I'm unemployed.Not that it matters now that I'm starting school next Mon but it just feels weird not having to work.Orientation's this Friday.I don't wanna go!Orientations are boring.Goodness,can anyone tell me who invented this thing called Orientation?NEvertheless,I'll have to drag myself there since that's when I get to know my class and timetable.Urgh,having to get to make new friends all over again!

Dad's still mad at me for a week already.SEriously don't know what he wants man.HE simply ignores me.How great.Makes me feel as if I've committed some heinous crime.BUT I'm more than determined to prove that I'll get good grades and get a degree from there.Shall prove that my choice is right.(ps:c hwee,dun tell anyone abt this if u're reading k??)

MY GOAL:University of SYDNEY!!

2008-04-02T09:59:00.002+08:00

I'm elated,I'll finally get to go to OT!!After all the tears and sweat and saliva put in,I finally fought for what I want.Thanks alot my friends.You guys stood by me and supported my decision throughout.Thanks to mummy and daddy too,for finally allowing me to study OT.I will definitely cherish this opportunity to sutdy well and get into UNI!now that is my goal.I will not let you down..=)

2008-04-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

《上邪》
我欲与君相知，
长命无绝衰！
山无陵，
江水为竭，
冬雷阵阵，
夏雨雪，
天地合，
乃敢与君绝。

2008-03-30T00:42:00.005+08:00

事情已成定局，再也没办法扭转局面。没得怪人，是我自找的。或许这是命吧，只好逆来顺受，现在我只能向前看，不得再往回头。希望接下来的四年，我会争气不辜负他们的期望。。过后路要怎么走，才考虑，深思后才公布决定。这是个非常贵的代价，我会铭记在心。

2008-03-29T19:13:00.003+08:00

A song that aptly decribes me and him.I'll try to forget.I promise.=)

歌曲：我也很想他
歌手：孙燕姿

那时我们总有好多话
什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早
却一直放在心上
后来你们之间的变化
我不想再多说话
经过了相遇挣扎
我还是无法将他放下

那是多久后的事啊
有一天你突然问我
在那个时候是否也爱着他

我也很想他
我们都一样
在他的身上
曾找到翅膀
只是那时的他
是因为你而开始飞翔
我也很想他
在某个地方
我少了尴尬
你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短
思念却很长

还记得
那年我们曾许下的愿望
是星星骗了我们
我们却因此少了一课
真正必修的学分

我也很想他
我们都一样
在他的身上曾找到翅膀
只是那时的他
是因为你而开始飞翔
我也很想他
在某个地方
我少了尴尬你少了肩膀

而夏天还是那么短
思念却很长
我们都一样

*** *** ***

2008-03-29T16:47:00.004+08:00

Went cell with him last night.Actually it was because I wanted to talk to him about my choice.I ran away from the problem until NYP called on thursday informing me that the application was a success.In the end,we didnt get to talk much though.Cos it was at his cell leader's girlfriend house.With so many other people around,it feels really awkward I guess.

First time attending cell.It's pretty alright,just that when the cell leader,Cai Jie, started telling me all about how we need have a relationship with God so that we get saved and all,it's kinda uncomfortable.Afterall,the sole purpose of going there was talking to him-which sort of failed.And I wasn't exactly prepared to get into a religion now.Through the discussion,Cai Jie posted this very interesting view about relationships(so as to get to his point about how to determine the realationship with God).

Many of us claim to know our friends well.Best friends,close friends and all.Yet,how do we know that our actions are reciprocated by our friends?Do they understand our motive behind these actions?What seems to show that we care for our friends may turn out to be a nuisance or something that is very simple.Like giving someone a gift.To us,it's a gesture to show that we love and care for our friends.But to them,it may appear to be weird to receive a gift for no apparent reason.Each of us have different perspective about our relationship.We can't expect everyone to show it the way we want.So how can we measure how close we are to each other?By speech?Action?How?

We may spend lotsa time with who we claim to be our best friends.Especially when we're schooling.We tend to spend time with our close friends during recess,before and after school.To us,we're close to them,BUt we never know how they feel towards us.Our inability to read other people's mind makes it impoosible for us to know what other's are thinking.For a couple that hardly meets up,can they be counted as close?Despite the fact that they hardly meet,we know that they have a close relationship.But through what actions that they do or say guarantees and supports our feeling?Afterall,the couple would never ever have a tag around them that says 'though we hardly meet,we are very close'.Thus,what makes us sure that friends we deem as 'close',whom we meet everyday and chat,are our close friends?Or maybe,do these friends treat us as close friends as well?Are we really as close as it seems?

I used to be sure that my close friends are close to me as well.Now it seems that I may have to change the way I think.Of course, I know from the actions of my friends,we are close.Yet there are many whom I'm not sure.We seem to be close.But in actual fact,are we as close as it seems to be?

*** *** ***

2008-03-29T00:56:00.002+08:00

You words touched me.THANKS for supporting every decision that i make.I value it alot.You left me crying.Second time since I know you.No one had ever made such an impact in my life.You are the first.So many first's with you.First time breaking down while talking on the phone.First time someone sent me home.First time you made me realise how good friends can be.First time going for cell.First time someone doing all that he could to make me make a choice.

You are really nice.Your girlfriend is blessed to have found such a nice guy like you.Big big Thanks to you.=)

2008-03-23T01:20:00.002+08:00

Received an email from Eunice.Initially I thought it was just another chain mail.But the images in it disturbed me alot.How can people be so cruel?

While we fight for human rights,animals are being killed.How logical can this be?I believe this email will be circulated around,hence,I shall not elaborate how this poor little kitten was being tortured.Are we really so stressed that we have no channels to vent them but on helpless innocent animals?

Simply because they can't speak and express their thoughts and pain doesn't give us the right to torture animals!Under all circumstances,we should NEVER build our happiness on someone(or somthing) else's agony.NO!

We advocate peace,love,equality,democracy and being eco-friendly.Yet,this kind of things are happening.It seems that we have left out this bunch of being that we deem inferior to us.It is saddening to see that there are such people around.Just imagine.What if there's someone or something more superior than man?Do you wish to be treated the way we treat animals?

At least I know I wish to be treated as an equal.What about you?

2008-03-16T01:01:00.003+08:00

I'm procrastinating.Despite the fact that I've applied for poly,I feel like applying for uni as well.That's how fickle minded I am.Wish to apply nursing but it seems that only hwee supports me.Do I really have such a low stress level?I don't think so.What's wrong with being a nurse?It's not all about cleaning up people's shit and pee.There are aspects whereby the job is challenging.Yes,hospital's a place where we'll see deaths but that isn't all about nursing!It's time people view nurses as a more sacred job than doing shitty work.Yea,maybe you perceive it as a tough job and lowly paid and doctors are better than nurses.But hey!without nurses,doctors can't work too!Everyone makes an impact on every other one.

Currently that's the only other course that I feel strongly for other than OT or PT.May try FoS as well.Thought of being a forensic scientist.A pretty challenging job as well.It's akin to trying to solve puzzles.Of course,we can't make mistakes.But I don't really have such a strong pasion for that compared to nursing.

Mum wants me to work at regular hours.Why?Wthout people working shift,where on earth do we have 24hour services?They don't drop from the sky.Yea,as if nurses live in the hospital and they just come at your beck and call.

Maybe I should just stick to OT.Afterall,if I really decide to become a nurse in the years to come,I may study that after I go out to work.

2008-03-14T12:00:00.003+08:00

THANK YOU KELVIN!

fell in love with this song I heard on the radio.It's a pretty old song.Just that I never took notice of the lyrics until a few days ago.It's nice,depicts how a girl feels when she sees her loved one ditch her and goes for another one.

曲名：街角的幸福歌手：戴佩妮

多少个秋　多少个冬　我几乎快要被治愈好
但还是会只因为一个重覆的话题　就无心自扰

也曾想过　若真遇见　我们应该如何是好
我想我还是会还站在某一个街角　不让你看到
只因为我不想打扰　只因为怕你解释不了
只因为现在你的眼睛里　她比我还重要

我只好假装我看不到
看不到你和她在对街拥抱
你的快乐　我可以感受得到
这样的见面方式对谁都好
我只好假装我听不到
听不到别人口中的她好不好
再不想问　也不想被通知到
反正你的世界我管不了

若不想问　若不想被通知到
就把祝福　留在街角

2008-03-13T10:46:00.003+08:00

Decided that some things shouldnt be posted afterall.If you didnt manage to read it,good for you.Feeling so edgy now.I wonder why.

Just when I've decided to use the scanner after so many donkey years,I realised it's not installed to my comp.Rather,I think Dad uninstalled it.Damn.Now I have to find someone with scanner.Really pressed for time cousin's birthday celebration is this sat and we've not even started doing our gift.Argh!

Was flipping through the past photos and found many classics.Realised how much my babysitter cared and loved me in the past yet now I don't even visit her.Wonder how's she now.Heard that she's now a grandma of two grand-daughters.Maybe I should take some time out and visit her someday.Hopefully she still remembers me.

School term is starting again.Have yet to plan my lessons.In fact, I don't even know if I still need to go to school on Mon.Messaged miss lee my decision and she didn't get back to me.Teaching has its pros and cons.I'm beginning to appreciate my classes.No matter how naughty they are,there's still a side of them that will listen.This is the hope that I always carry with me when I enter my worst class.Some of them in the class do bring me laughter.Though not much,it really brightens up my day after a really exhausting session with them.Maybe,that's why some of my teachers actually managed to tolerate 3i/4i in the past.Though we aren't as horrible,but I believe we created quite some trouble for them.Being a teacher is seriously not easy.Really salute them for persevering so long.

2008-03-13T00:46:00.002+08:00

June, thanks for ur support,really appreciate that.=) Some things perhaps just arent meant to be ba.Maybe it's fated that people I like would never like me.Oh wells.Don't feel like sleeping.Many things going through in my head.Starting to think negatively again.Sigh,that's my biggest problem.Always thinking negatively,all about the bad things.Read through my old posts and realised I'm so childish in the past.The posts were pretty stupid.Only the more recent posts made some sense I guess.

Read through the posts dedicated to mr maxx.I said I'd take a long time to get over it.Indeed,it still feel so unreal at times.He was afterall the first person that made me feel that being handicapped doesnt mean that you can't work.Perhaps that's one reason for choosing Occ. Therapy.I'll be able to teach these people how to fish and not provide them with the fish.He also made me realise what it is like to really care for a person..

2008-03-12T16:26:00.002+08:00

Trapped totally.The chains that bound me kept me suffocating.I can't breathe.

"Come on.You can do it.Walk out of this.Fight!Don't care about what others think.You are the one trapped.You have to move on."

I tried.I gave up.Time after time I was affected by voices around me.

"You have to learn to ignore what others say.Come on.You can do it!"

Again,I tried.I can do it,I thought to myself.What others say in unimportant.What is important is what I'm going to do.I fought hard.

Finally,I fought free.The chains that were bounded to me gave way.I'm free.I smell freedom.The air so sweet.

I never knew it could smell so nice.

If not for you,I'd still be trapped.You may not know of this blog.Nevertheless,this entry is dedicated to you my dear friend.Thank you so so much for making me walk out of this chain that bounded me.THANK YOU.

2008-03-10T16:35:00.003+08:00

I wish you'd scold me.If only you tell me straight that I have no choice but to go to the university.I'd feel better.Your silence frightens me.I don't know what you're thinking.Are you mad at my decision?Are you mad that I can't fulfil your dreams?Are you mad that I defied you?

It makes me feel hurt.More hurt than ever.

2008-03-08T18:01:00.006+08:00

Results are finally out.I thought I could take a breather and say,I've decided.Yet things turn out otherwise.True that I'm satisfied with my results,my GP was much better than that in school.So much better.I'm elated.Yet,this was shortlived.The decision that I'm going to make is going to affect what I want to be. Should I go ahead with my interest or be a good girl and go for the conventional path?

I'm standing at the cross roads,deciding which path to take. Both path is going to lead me to my future.Yet, will it be something I want or is it something others want?I don't wish to give up my interest,yet I don't wish to disappoint those who pinned hopes on me.Perhaps,things would have been better if I've got worse grades,even better if I'm still waiting for my results.At least I can give a definite answer.

I know what you want.I also know what I want.This is why it pains my heart to tell you my decision.However,I don't wish to give up on something that I've hung on for such a long time.Sometimes,it's just so good to be a child.Nothing to worry,no big decisions to make,everything planned well.Just follow the path ahead and nothing will go wrong.

The irony of life is such that no one can turn back the time.With age comes responsibility.No use being an ostrich.The problem is always there.We'll have to face the music sooner or later.

funny how God makes fun of man..

2008-03-05T12:12:00.001+08:00

NEW BLOG SKIN!!!yay..it's finally not black..bt the word is grey..anyone can tell me how i can change tha font to a darker colour??heex..

2008-03-05T11:16:00.002+08:00

yay..another day where i don't have to work.School's having the annual speech day as well as sports' day today,hence giving me this opportunity to slack.Having worked for 2 months plus, I realised how difficult it is to be a teacher. Especially a Chinese teacher.Not only do the students hate learning Chinese,they hate Chinese teachers as well.Not all, but having a few in a class is enough.Then again, it's hard to like Chinese when all the subjects are taught in English.The only thing that can grab their attention is movies.But not all movies are in pure Chinese.Those in pure Chinese would most likely be unable to catch the students' attention.urgh!

A's results coming out!Hope I'll be able to pass all my subjects and at least get B for my Chem and Math.Can't imagine what it'll be like if I cant do well for my 2 fave subject(though i have to say that i start disliking Chem when i start to dislike my tutor).

To all my friends taking their results. GOOD LUCK!!May you achieve the grades that you want and enter your dream course..=)

2008-01-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

yeah!!!it's finally friday.Such a rare opportunity for me not to work on a weekday.Thank goodness it's e-learning day for the Sec 1s..Still wondering how I can catch 3C's attention..haix.

Students had their Character Education for 3 days starting from 16/1(Wed),thus I got a lil break from teaching.Helped out the Alumni for the Sec 1s interclass games.Then this conversation started:

Sec 1s:Are you an ex-peicaian?
Me:Why you want to know?(hoping that they'll stop asking)
Sec 1s:Because I saw you helping and they say alumnis are helping.
Me:(Hoping that I can keep it a secret till I end my term there)Oh really?Too bad, I'm not going to give you an answer.
(Quickly usher the students off and pretended to be really busy)

It was pretty fun helping out in the Sec 1s activities..They are simply so adorable!!Had this pair of really active twins and they look so small.They came to play at my sation(floorball)and the floorball court simply transformed into a playground.That was totally one of the BIG highlight for me that day.

Followed the Sec 1s for their learning journey on 17/1(Thu) and I went without knowing that I actually had to give them the information about Singapore River!!I totally suck at my history and I didn't prepare anything at all.Luckily Miss Mok came to my rescue and my class just followed hers and she did all the talking..hee.=P They pretty much don't give a damn about anything when they're tired though.All just thought of going home and didn't even bother to at all fake a 'i'm listening to all that you're saying' look.Guess it'll leave some bad impression but nevertheless.They're pretty much little kids.They went to the Asian Civilisation Museum as well.It's a really nice place and there's really alot to learn in there.Hope I'd go there somday again.Didn't really look through all the things with the Sec 1s treating it like their playground.Went kampong Glam in the afternoon and the kids visited the Sultan Mosque where they did batik painting.Some of them are really artistic and had really nice art pieces despite it being their first attempt.Afterwhich they went to have Indian Dance and music classes at NAS.Then to Little India and visited the temple and learnt how to wrap the sari.With that, the students finally got to go home and I was free too!hahax.Man, Aren't these kids blessed?Get to go to so many places,experience the different cultures.We don't even have such things when we were schooling..

Currently having muscle ache all thanks to the manual work I did.Helped carry this super heavy and dusty PC home on Tue and carried the benches on Wed for my station.OH well.I'll just take that as weight training.haha.=)

2008-01-11T23:56:00.000+08:00

Worked for 2 weeks as a relief teahcer already.Man,time flies.felt as though yesterday when Miss Lee called to ask me to relief.Teaching all the level chinese.1F,2D+2G,3A and 3C the conventional Chinese and the Sec 4s CLB. So far, 1F is the only class which participate during lesson actively,asking questions really thinking about all I've said and curious about everything.2D and 2G and pretty all right too I guess.3C would probably be the one with most problems.Simply can't catch their attention.Still,this shall be my challenge.Hope I'll presevere through and make them listen to me oneday.No lessons for 3 days next week.Shall either be accompanying the Sec 1s to their learning journey or joining the Sec 3 level camp.Shall see what Miss Lee say.Nonethless,I'll still be paid on those 3days, I believe.

Went for NYP open house today with dad.School's pretty big and thought their symphony band played pretty well.Nice pieces played.Currently trying to decide if I should take Occupation Therapy or Physio in NYP or go NUS take Nursing or NTU for Hospitality and Tourism Management.Argh.Choices.All these about deciding where to go from now till I get my results.Hopefully it'll help me decide what I should take then.=)

2007-12-17T12:44:00.000+08:00

just browsing through blogs and chanced upon viv's old blog,the really really old one,abt 3 years back?brought back some memories which had been forgotten.it made me realise how much we've grown up and drifted apart.can't be helped though.haven't seen her for a long time.last time we met and really chatted was when we collected our o's result i believe.and now?i'm already waiting for my a's result.TIME FLIES.not too sure if you've been reading my blog,but still,do know that you've been missed greatly by me okies?really missed those times when we shared practically everything together,going home together and all..

those were the memories..

2007-11-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

1 week passed since my A's.kinda not used to the feeling that i can now just sit there and rot all I want.Found a job as relief teacher though my application is still under consideration.Man..i wonder if i can meet up to the expectations of my teachers.Will i be fierce enough to control the class?Will I be able to conduct classes well?

Anyway,an update of what has happened the last week

16/11/07 Friday

The long planned Peicai Prom is finally over!Overall it was quite a successful one given the fact that this was the very first time we had it in the hotel.It was tough on Germaine I must say.Xin Ku Ni Le!!!Took pics,and realised that I only tookphotos with guys!hahax.It wasnt intentional,I swear.=P

21/11/07 -22/11/07 Wednesday-Thursday

Class chalet.It was fun.It was also the first time I did night cycling.It's really nice and novel to me.Cos the traffic was pretty light except for some occasi9onal cars passing by and yea,my FIRST time riding a bike on e road and also my FIRST time cycling for a few hours straight!It ended up with us all aching but nevertheless,it was a great experience.Hopefully I get to do this again some other time.=)

Went wild wild wet the following day.My first time there as well.Its pretty small I would say,but the rides were rather fun.Took the family ride a few times and this other ride which is in a U-shape.Scared the wits off me.Still,being able to bond with my friends this way is really great.BBQ at night and I headed home.

23/11/07 Friday

K Box with my cousins.Was supposed to meet hwee first to do some shopping but somehow there was some breakdown in communication so it ended up with us meeting all at 12.30.Initially we wanted to book the 2-7pm offer but as it was all our first time,we werent able to get that offer due to some reasons or another.We got to sing till 6pm though.But i think it was more expensive than the usual 2-7pm one.Afterwhich my 3rd uncle treated us to dinner at some office building in Novena.It is similar to those sakae sushi where we had sushi buffet,each plate for 99cents I heard.Anyway,we sang our cousin a birthday song and had cake after dinner.

Oh well,that sums up what I have been doing to past week and yea,it definitely feels good to be liberated!=)

2007-10-28T01:21:00.001+08:00

A'S STARTING!cant wait for it to be over..

2007-10-14T01:22:00.000+08:00

i'm stressed.i guess this is the first time in so many years that i'm feeling this.a's in just 15 days!!and i feel so unprepared.i feel my confidence level dipping everyday.still, i'll have to face it when the day comes. i hope i wont disappoint anyone including myself.i spent so much time and effort on it.2 years,that is how much time has been put it.i dont want it to go to waste.15 days later,what i write and do determines my future.it means alot to me.

mum says if i do badly,i'll just work.but hey,i know what you want,you wish that i can enter into the u.it'll hurt you badly if i screw it up.

i need ppl to study with me.productivity is really low at home.time is running out yet there's still so many extra lessons in school.great.

2007-09-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

okie..here are my results.aint exactly happy with it..rather bad in fact.

Chem-U(cos i missed a paper)
Physics-C
Math-B(and it's cos i got 59.5 -_-")
C Lit- C(and i'm so proud of it)
GP- S

man..can somebody just tell me how to study gp?or at least,let me know how to score..

2007-09-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

i'm stressed.somehow,it seemed that i can handle any subject but my language.esp my GP.can someone tell me how to pass it?i just want to pass.that's all.i harbour no further hopes for GP except to pass.someone tell me how.it is important.i want to pass it.i cant afford to fail and i dont want to fail.

2007-09-26T17:42:00.000+08:00

okie..i'm here to update le..since somebody say i very long nvr update le..hahax..
got back majority of my results le..shld i say i'm satisfied with it??i guess so ba..passed most of my subjects..haven got back my chinese..PLEASE LET ME PASS MY CHINESE!!!!den again,i really have no confident..afterall i've been failing it since day 1..failed my GP..just nice got an S..man i need to really pratice paraphrasing and identifying question type..can anyone tell me how to study GP??i'm desperate to pass..

went to watch ratatouille yesterday with desmond..it's nice!!!thought it was really creative of the scripwriter to think of such a plot..a rat gourmet..interesting!!the graphics were good too..very realistic a movie worth watching!

peicai prom is coming up..planning with germaine..first time planning an event..i'm excited!but sad to say i won't be able put all my efforts into it..so desmond (not the same des as above) will be helping her..hope it will be a smooth event..think this is the first time a actually cal hotles and talk to business associates..it feels so different..it was very formal and it was pretty stressful talking cos you'll have to mind the way you phrase sentences and ask questions intelligently.not to sya we ask questions stupidly but it is really different from asking teachers question.a good experience i must say..

well..that's all i guess.a's is starting just 5 more weeks..kinda looking forward to it as i want it to be over really badly(who don't want?).shall start mugging now.ciaox.

2007-09-04T16:37:00.001+08:00

just realised how long i haven been blogging..

holiday is here and my prelims are here to.

planned a study time table and have been trying really hard to follow.

just a few more months.i know i can make it.

JIA YOU PPL!! =)

2007-07-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

Yay! took a break from studies ytd and went to watch the NDP Preview with my beloved cousins..hahax..it was really a wonderful experience i guess..afterall it's my 2nd time watching the parade..(the 1st was in P5 but i seriously cant rmb what it was all about)

so we met and went to marina and it was really crowded with people wearing red..it was a long long wait cos we had to wait for the ppl to tear e tix, wait for e security check, wait for the funpack and wait for the usher to direct us to our seats.i felt as if they had e entire airport security check system brought to marina.nevertheless,we cousins managed to catch up during those waiting time.

e performance was really great,the transitions between each programme was also very smooth to e extent that i didnt realise it until i see e programme list.hahax.the theme this year was smth abt havin a magical moment and yea..it really was quite magical..lotsa breathtaking stunts i guess..hahax..

Some of the big balloons placed at e parade

One of the red lions when he's about to do a landing.

NDP 07!!

fire under the bridge!!caught all of us by surprise

big jellyfish floating in e air!!!!

a boat entering the parade..magnificient!!!(this pic is on papers too)

that's us while waiting for e programme to start..
4/9 of the cousins who went to watch..2 of em are lifeguards on duty..=)

2007-06-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

went kbox with germ and gang on thur..was really bored with studying so i decided to take a breather..we were supposed to meet 1.30 at chinatown but guess what?i was still waiting for nian shun at 1.30 at SERANGOON!no wonder wanling say we have to meet earlier than the agreed time..hahax..

first time singing with desmond and i must say he really has got a good voice..hehx..its totally different from the way he speaks.sang a few duets with him and i guess i sorta spoiled the song cos i so totally cant hit some notes..somehow everyone werent in their top condition that day..all got very dry throats..hahax..

wanling,germ and me while waiting for e train home..

2007-06-09T00:10:00.000+08:00

breakfast
mug
mug
mug
mug
lunch
mug
mug
mug
mug
dinner
and finally..some tv!!

that sums up what i've been doing the last 3 days and what i'll be doing next week.

phew.what a taxing day.time to get this momentum going on.ciaox

2007-06-05T17:33:00.001+08:00

I took the "Constellation" quiz on gURL.com
		I am... Capricornus Do some people call you indecisive, while others call you careful? Do you want it all, all at once? You might identify with Capricornus--the "goat-fish" constellation. Read more... What constellation are you?

2007-06-05T17:27:00.001+08:00

I took the "the career personality" quiz on gURL.com
		My career personality is... Social Are you a good communicator? (And we don't mean, is your ear attached to your cellie...) Do people turn to you for advice and understanding? They may be responding to your natural instinct to help people... Read more... What's your career personality?

2007-06-05T17:22:00.001+08:00

I took the "handwriting personality" quiz ongURL.com
		my handwriting style is... sensitive scripter Your handwriting reveals you as a thoughtful, intellectual type who avoids fake people and places where there's lots of noise and crowds.Read more... What does your handwriting say about you?

2007-05-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

was reading blogs and saw june's post abt her 29th council and i thought to myself,has peicai council left such a big impression on me?

well,it did made an impact on my life,no matter how small it had been.i've seen both perspectives of school life-as a simple student and as a councillor and yes,council is wad really supports to school.during events,the council is always the ones who actually try to keep the atmosphere high.why?i would say it is partly due to the fact that our teachers told us to.but a major reason is simply due to the fact that all around us are people whom we are really comfortable with,people who have been with us through the toughest times,gave support when we needed them most and worked side by side for many projects.the bonds formed are probably the strongest compared to those forged by classmates.after all,we only study together and maybe chat during breaks.daph once said,peicai isnt the best school ard. i agree. but i think we have the best council.we make sure we give our best in whatever projects we do.we make sure it is of a certain standard,no slipshod work is entertained.whenever june talks abt her council, i think of mine.what do i miss most?perhaps the frequent bullies from des and gang,it never fail to make me laugh.no matter how down i felt.they make me feel good at times.perhaps the frequent impromtu singing sessions with germ too.she made me love singing.i love my dearest friend.she may not be in the council,but she understands me inside out.

was talking to my friend minutes ago and i understood the difference between guys and girls when they're down.

1. guys like to keep things to themselves. i wonder why. why cant they just say they're troubled?what's so difficult?cant they just spill everything out?at least it'll make them feel better. what's the ego thing doing to keep u from saying anything?no wonder guys usually die before girls.cos they just bottle things up and some day it justs explode. and BOOM. they're gone.

2. guys simply like to take their own sweet time to think through things. guess the thing u hear most from a troubled guy is 'leave me alone'.and girls?all the friends would be there to make her feel better.cheers to all my girlfriends who were there for me when i'm down! i mean,what's so wrong if u have friends there to make u feel better?perhaps u'll be able to assess the matter more objectively ya?

oh well,that's all that i can think of now. really miss those sec school days.where life is much simpler and less taxing.as young children,we want to be adults who have all the freedom;but when we grow to become adults,we wish that we were those young innocent children running carefreely in the playground.that perhaps is the biggest irony in life.

argh!!being emo again..hahax..

2007-04-29T15:26:00.000+08:00

losing the interest to study..life's getting really mundane.really wonder what exactly am i studying for.it just seems to have lost its appeal.people say we have to start early so that we'll get into the momentum.then again,starting too early only makes people disgusted when exams gets nearer.

perhaps i made the wrong choice of coming to a jc?perhaps i was more suited for a poly.who knows?then again,we're left with less that half a year before a's come.my mind tells me to start studying and start pushing myself.but my heart tells me otherwise.

wanted to look for ppl to chat but somehow everyone is busy.nobody's giving me a damn.crap.

2007-03-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

saw a total of 12 stars last nite and man!!i was ecstatic!!first time seeing so many stars at a go..really wonderful..guess that's the sad thing abt living in the city though.what is constantly in the sky seems so amazing..

really cloudy tonight...so i saw no stars..sad case..yikes!

guess my mood will be manipulated by the stars i see..hahax

2007-02-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!

well,cant exactly say that the new year mood is in the air cos i definitely aint feeling any. finally got my photos uploaded from my phone to the comp.turned out that it wasnt actually my comp that was cranky..yikes!

us girls all in skirt and dresses..hahax

hwee,me and hwa

had the new year celebrations in school on fri.the programmes were kinda boring i would say..our class girls wore our sec sch uniform and yep,all of us looked 'younger'..hahax..

me and li hui on fri..were super bored while waiting for the guest to arrive.

me, lihui and doro..

2007-01-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

tests tests and more tests..believe that summarises what is expected for the rest of the year.suddenly tutorials are piling up like nobody's business.tests are given like freebies.then again,all these are in preparation for our A's..undeniably,i think it's still early but i can just feel the pressure placed on us.tutors are getting really strict with our work..the tutorials just come one after another,no time to rest.

going for some class comm workshop tmr and goodness knows what workshop that is!imagaine that..going to school for some unknown purpose..heck..it simply sounds stupid..

guitar performing at MINDSville on 10 feb..2 more practises left before our performance and we're just so not ready..have this junior who is rather a show off sometimes..and a senior who is an irritant..talks and talks as if all of us really interested in it..yikes..really irritating..despite being hinted umpteen time(yes,and i really do mean UMPTEEN times!) he simply couldnt understand that we just wanted to leave!talked for 1/2 hour..full of vulgarities and nonsense..eeks!

having our chi pw presentation on 31 jan..hope it'll be fine..but then..only 10min for our 50 odd pages of report??!!!sounds so dumb..everything will be just so saturated..there'll be a q n a session for that too..hope i wont screw it up..i'll have to answer in chi..omg!as for the report we slogged hard for?some teacher just went to use INK to mark it..-_-" hello?that was supposed to be up on display in the future!!pls use ur common sense!now we gotta reprint everything!paper alone costs us $7.50 according to lihui..and the printing aint exactly cheap either..argh!then again,no point crying over spilt milk..we'll just have to reprint all..grr...

2007-01-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

received this mail abt characteristics of ppl born in different months and i thought it was rather true:

JULY=SEXY (eh?i'm definitely not sexy...lolx)
outgoing personality (yep..quite..)
takes risks (quite true..)
feeds on attention(nah! i'm sucha low profile person..hahax..)
no self control(i do have self control!)
kind hearted(yea!love helping others..hehx)
self confident(eh..not really..)
loud and boisterous(i'm soft!)
VERY revengeful(i've not revenged on someone before..)
easy to get along with and talk to(at least i think i am..)
has an "every thing's peachy" attitude(eh?wad's that?)
likes talking and singing(well..i love singing..hates talking at times..)
loves music(yea!music rocks my life!)
daydreamer(i do stone alot..does that count?)
easily distracted(nope..i've got a good attention span..)
Hates not being trusted(perhaps..since i trust ppl easily,i wish others would do likewise..)
BIG imagination(eh.sometimes i imagine alot..=P)
loves to be loved(true true!)
hates studying(so totally not true..hahax..but i dun love studying either..heh!)
in need of "that someone" (i guess so..after 17 years of singlehood..hehex..)
longs for freedom(true enough..)
rebellious when withheld or restricted(sometimes i rebel in my heart..lolx)
lives by "no pain no gain" (huh?does that mean i slog all my life?NO WAY!)
caring(i think so ba..not sure abt this though)
always a suspect(so am i a suspect when things go missing?)
playful(not really..only during e hols!)
mysterious(i dun think so..)
"charming" or "beautiful" to everyone(huh?i didnt know i got that power to do that..)
stubborn(yep yep!!i'm sucha stubborn person..hehex..)
curious(hope not..curiosity kills e cat!)
independent(quite..i do lotsa things on my own..)
strong willed(am i?i guess so..if i'm determined to..i'm STUBBORN!haha!!)
a fighter(oh well..i hope that's a compliment though..)

2007-01-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

"Hey,are you alright?"

"Yea,thanks."

Our eyes met.His eyes looked crystal clear.I felt as if I've looked through his world.Is this what people call love?

A very typical love story heard by anyone.Yet, does it truly happens?While people wait for their right ones to appear,many are ditching away them as if they were rubbished that were picked up along the road.That,I believe is the most ironical thing about what people call love.You may love someone deeply,only to know that he/she doesnt feel the same and vice versa.

One may say that to be able to look at your loved ones from afar,knowing that they're happy is sufficient;that being together isn't what love is all about.However, how many people are really able to do so without feeling the least bit of jealousy or envy?Sometimes,to know that our loved ones are happy it does gives moments of happiness,but only realise that what we truly feel is envy,jealous.

"Hey dear,I love you."

"I love you too."

Sweet nothings were whispered.His expression soft.I wish it was me.

To see and know that our loved ones doesn't reciprocate our love is bad enough.Yet, the heart wrenching fact is that you would be seeing sweet images of your beloved with their beloved,only to know that those are not meant for you to see.

One once said 'To love and be loved is the greatest thing on earth'. How true?I wonder.If it were to be true,so why are people divorcing?Why are people breaking up simply because as time goes by,they realised that love no longer existed?The power of love may be a motivating source yet a depressing source in times of breakups.This is the double-edged sword that all of us would one day face.How to sharpen one edge while keeping the other blunt?I wonder.

2007-01-01T01:27:00.000+08:00

happy new year!

well..here's some new year resolutions:

1) shall start mugging from 3/1/07 onwards.will mug every weekday until dinner time
2) stop staying up in e middle of e night to type entries( so i get sufficient sleep)
3) stop being so emo!!!

oh well..that's all that i could think of.gotta sleep..going escape with my cousins tmr..yay!!second outting so far.haha..hope it'll be fun and i wake up on time to meet my cousin..hehe..nites!=)

2006-12-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

i'm tired..mentally..

i need a rest..

Life seems to be moving on in such a fast pace that i sometimes wonder if i can ever catch up with it..Technology is moving fast. Our trains our moving fast. We rush to work. We rush through our meals. Ever stopped to look at the surroundings carefully? When was the last time u noticed someone near u has left u? When was the last time u stopped to take a look at the people ard u?When was the last time u sat down and listened to the beautiful music ard u?

All of us are kept to our own small world.on the bus,we text people,we listen to our mp3s. At home,we watch the tv,on the computer,oblivious to what's going on outside the small screen. Why must things progress? Why must there always be improvements? Does improvements always mean that we'll feel happy? I doubt so.

While we think that having lifts at HDB blocks are good enough,we now want lifts that stop at every level. So when we have that,we want lifts that reach our level fast. And we're done with that,we want even better lifts. Arent we greedy?

When we make our first million,we want a second,a third and many many more millions to be made. Yet, are we feeling happy? Ao what if we have lots of money? Can that buy us happiness? Can that buy us friends? Can that satisfy that little devil that's in our heart? NO.

However, we let this devil continue to make us miserable.

Take a businessman for instance.He slog hard. He gained alot in return. Yet, he's actually lost many invaluable things. Along the way, he lost true friends,he lost capturing the beautiful sights He lost his love for his business. Nope, I'm not saying that being a businessman is bad. He can still have a happy family. He can still have many true friends. But, does he have time for them?

Take another man, just a simple man who works for the company. He may not have all the wealth in the world. But he has his friends who share with him. He enjoyed many breath-taking scenery created by nature.

Which do you prefer? I prefer the latter.

2006-12-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

back to blog again..have been losing sleep the past few days..in fact,its near to a week of insomnia..can go to bed at 1am,and fall asleep only at 3am??!!!that's bad..especially when school's reopening in 2 weeks' time..can i cure it?can anyone tell me how i can get rid of it??pls dun tell me to eat sleeping pills or anything though..that's so totally out of the qn..hais..typing in e dark again..

went our with hwee on thur..watched happy feet..nice show..give it 9/10..gave a full view of how penguins look at certain things.it made me think twice abt throwing litter into e sea..how smth small to humans may mean smth big to others..perhaps we shld think twice abt our actions..everything is a cycle..wad we do will some day get back to us..

been watching this jap show these few days..called 'one liter of tears'..talks abt how this 15 year old girl fights with a rare incurable disease..very touching..cos it's made from e life of someone in jap..

well..i'll stop here..hope i'll stop here..will blog again..ciaox..

2006-12-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

oh crap,i've been totally deprived of my comp and tv for almost a week.Why?Cos of my grandma.

Nope,I dun blame her for all this,she didnt want this to happen too.But still,the entire schedule this week was going to e hosp, back home,sleep,go geylang polyclinic,hosp..and the cycle continues....so i mugged while i was in e hosp.Rather productive i would say.

Attachment is finally over.Quite happy cos I can sleep in.Nevertheless,the attachment was rather enriching.At least I learnt how to speak dialects. In the past, I understand but to string them up to make a sentence?It was quite horrible.Especially when you're facing a group of dialect experts.Writing the reflections now.Kinda lost as to how to write.Everything I did for six days is THE SAME! How am I supposed to produce 6 different reflections?grr..e teacher-in-charge and 'leader' was rather irresponsible.e teacher was ard for only A DAY. The leader who was supposed to be 'responsible' was practically late everytime.Horrible.

2006-12-04T15:35:00.000+08:00

okie..i'm finally blogging..was back from china on 25th nov..it was a fun and enriching trip..saw many things that we dun get to see in singapore..how the students studied there and their sanitations..it was rather bad in those less developed areas..toilet is only up to ur waist area so u can actually see e person in e next cubicle..shant talk abt it much..wait till u get e photos uploaded first..hehe..

went for my work attachment less week..it was on mon,wed and fri.sad to say,our attachment has no money!!cos it somehow became a CIP thing..amazing huh??feel so cheated..furthermore, it was stated that we would get to do stuffs like physio and measuring blood pressure for e elderly..CRAP!!so yea..allwe did for e past week was just talking to e elderly..basically only learnt how to speak dialect..diaox..had to do performance for e elderly today and it enede up having one of e elderly to perform for us..he was really high..talked alot too..haha..den there was this other lady who kept hogging on to us..talk and talk for a really long time..very 'long-winded'..so me and my friends got trapped there for abt 10 min??only managed to leave the place at 1pm when our dismissal was at 12.30pm..

shall stop here..will blog again e next time round..=)

2006-11-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

yay..going to e airport in abt 6 hrs time..yikes..i'm starting to feel excited..haha..but i'm gonna go there with terribly sore arms..haha..yoga today was fun..dunno how to elaborate on that..guess u'll know when u try..haha..

right..shall end here then..ciaox

2006-11-18T00:24:00.000+08:00

can anyone tell me how to differentiate a star and satellite??
have been looking out into e sky practically everyday to look at stars for a few weeks..noticed this star that's always there..it looks really lonely..recently,another has appeared a distance away(and yes,its super far away).but this star flickers a great deal and seems larger and brighter than the other one i saw..thought the one that i saw at e beginning flickers alot le..but e new star seems 'worse'..haha

flying to china on this sunday..so far i have no special feelings abt it..haha..si hui says she wanna send me off..haha..but e flight is 7.40..wonder if she can make it there on time..haha..hope this will be a joyous and fun trip..first time flying this far without my parents..haha..hopefully i wont be sotong as to forgot to bring stuffs..haha..

oh well,nth else to write le..guess i'll blog again when i'm back..hopefully i can post pics taken there..provided yingen return me my cam cable..IT'S BEEN ON LOAN FOR A YEAR!!!

2006-11-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

dreamt of my someone special last night..

couldnt remember wad it was exactly,but it was sweet.

alas,dreams are usually the exact opposite of the reality.......

2006-11-12T01:12:00.000+08:00

i wonder.

when will the day come when the person i like likes me back?

for years,i've fallen for people that i shld have avoided.why?why am i always one step slower than others?am i just slow by nature?has god deliberately made me this way?yikes..i hate it..

then again.what can i do?i'm in no position to tell anybody who they can like or cant like.

well,i guess i'm resigned to fate.perhaps the day will come when i find that someone someday..

this someone special now certainly doesnt like me.i'm sure..

once again,i'm typing in the dark..hate this feeling..its as if i'm doing something hideous..

2006-11-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

had my first yoga lesson today and it was FUN!!hahax..did lotsa stuffs and now my hand is aching..according to e instructor,some movements can actually help burn off e fats at e waist area..muahaha..i'm waiting for that to happen..he said that it helps build leg muscles too..(he claimed that we wont feel tired after climbing a mountain..haha..i wonder if its true though..)

my aunt and grandma went to visit my granduncle today..apparently he had underwent a surgery to remove his tumour(which was a malignant one) and also 1/8 of his liver on 7th nov but we were only notified abt this on e 9th..amazing huh??so my grandma went down today and saw that his child all went home le..nobody was there to look after him(he just came out of e high dependency unit),,according to e adults...his child took it as if they were visiting some ill relative during visiting hours nia..so anyway,grandma was reminded of grandpa..how he was suffering for that one month and how everything seemed to be..arh..all e bittersweet memories is flooding back again..why bittersweet??bitter cos our grandpa has left us..sweet cos it made e entire family more united and we cousins are even closer than before..in fact,it was during that crisis that we actually went out together for the first time..oh well..those will just be a part of e beautiful memories that we cousins will share i guess..probably,that was the time we had to unite and face up to e challenge and yes,we conquered it..=)

2006-11-10T11:51:00.000+08:00

wed
had my OP and i guess i kinda screw up my Q&A..sort of answered smth that was totally irrelevant to e qn my accessor asked..argh!!other than that,i guess it went on rather smoothly..all with e clicking on to e next slides and e transitions of speaker..yay!!

e groups before were actually better than us in terms of presentation..cos e first grp actually went to e extent of making a donation tin for their topic on autism and brought piles of books from e library to bring out their idea!!e second group did their entire presentation in a form of a 'talk'..theirs was abt differentiated GP learning,so they did their presentation in a fom of 'education review'..interesting ya??haha..unlike my group(or maybe class?) cos we were really e 'traditional' kind of presenting..haha..

thur
met up with my chi pw grp(bored yea?after e eng pw,i still had a CHI PW!!)..finalised our survey and went out with si hui to watch death note!e show wasnt too bad..but i yawned alot..i guess e show was kinda boring to me..wasnt as fascinating as my friends made to be..but still,it's quite interesting..kira was really sick in e mind..imagine killing ur loved one just so that u would be protected from getting ur identity revealed?yikes..sicko..haha..but he does exudes some kinda charm in him when he's wth shiori..quite shuai afterall..L wasnt too bad..but he slouch!!haha..he would have looked more charming if he stood up straight..haha..but he's cute too..yay..haha..looking forward to the second part of the show..believe taht it'll definitely be better than this first part..with so many more kiras..haha..it'll definitely be exciting..haha..

2006-11-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

i blew my day away..started wheezing since i woke up this morning.and the cest thing is that i'm gonna have my op tmr..yikes.i'm so down on my luck.oh well,hopefully this flu bug will be gone by tmr morning,otherwise i guess i'll screw up e entire presentation and that's it..muahahaha..guess that's all i can say for now.hope everything will turn out to be good tmr..

all e best to everyone!!op starting tmr,we gotta preserve our voice..drink honey!!
ciaox

2006-11-04T17:23:00.000+08:00

oh well,feeling really moody.really wonder what's the problem with me.i can be really hyper at times and my mood just plunges down to the bottom of the valley the next.even my mum told me i'm different today.what's wrong with me??urgh..it sucks.

just when i thought i've let down a burden,another one just come along.it's really heavy carrying it alone.i wonder when will i have someone to share it with me so it gets lighter?

even friends may be really a taxing thing at times.there are times when u know you shouldnt be doing smth,yet because of ur buddy,u did smth against ur conscience.though others may see it as smth really small,it means alot to that someone cos they're working against their principles.at the same time,u wish u could tell ur other friend the truth,but u cant.u're betraying the other friend.complicated eh?

pw is finally coming to an end.just when i thought i can forget all abt researches,i have a chinese pw coming.with the amt of homework piling up,i really wonder if there would be a chance for me to take a break.time passed really quickly.its near the end of the year.2007 will be an important year.i know i cant afford to slacken even now.why?i wonder.is life meant to be so full of ups and downs that we have no time to take a breather.not even for a few seconds?the j2s are leaving the school,it'll be our turn soon.eeks..it's really scary.1 year isnt long,neither is it short.to cramp in all that we've learnt just for exams,it's really frwaky.we arent studying for interest.we're studying for exams.when will it be the time for us to study because we want to study?i wont deny the fact that studying is better than working.but at least we get to choose what kind of job we want ya?haix..it seems to me that nothing we do is for our sake.cos everything we do is so that we can fit into the society,so we wont fall behind.

ouch.the truth hurts.

2006-10-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

finally changed e blog skin and e song on my blog..i'm still waiting for clemmy's pooh skin though..have been troubling him for months le..

went back to school today for guitar meeting..sam went too..so basically e 2 of us non-exco were feeling really weird sitting there..so yea..discussed abt e concert that we're planning..but somehow it went nowhere..meeting ended at ard 10.30 and we crapped all e way till 12..went for lunch with mum and came home..was supposed to watch death note with june and gang but couldn cos mum was sick so had to stay home and look after her..

though holiday has just started,i'm getting bored le..did my math tutorial on fri..some mugging bug must have gotten into my head that day..going to play audition soon..but somehow,this dumb computer just fail to download e programme..keeps hanging..oh well,will crap again some other day??

oh yea,btw,if there's a guitar concert,will anyone care to pay money and go??do tag and tell me k??ciaox

2006-10-24T13:07:00.000+08:00

back to blog again..frankly,i dunno wad i shld write..today's public holiday so here i am rotting at home..haha..

went to see mrs ivay lim ytd with si hui with regards to our guitar ensemble..she wants us to write her a proposal..how we go abt recruiting ppl to go for syf and stuffs like that..i'm quite confused too..but i guess, so long as si hui know wad's going on,its good enough le ba..

will know if we're promoted or not on thur and heard that there's 3 ppl in our class that will get retained..hopefully,it wont be the case ultimately ba..kinda wishful thinking but yea..miracles do happen..it sounds dumb though..oh well..i also dunno..kinda confused with wadever's happening..suddenly everything seems to be happening at the same time again..been a long time since i felt this way..eeks..its a stupid feeling..

2006-10-19T15:15:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling really moody..perhaps its due to wad's happening to guitar ba..on one hand, mr wong said syf is nth.whether u have it or not,it just reflects that it's a syf and u got an award.then the next minute, the 'niche' performaning arts cca are appealing for members cos they say syf is very good and it'll reflect well on ur sgc..so??who is correct?mr wong?mrs lim?who?while we are fighting so hard to go for syf,ppl are giving us the cold blanket.wth..and they even have this contract member thing..oh fine.its really weird.

its really hazy..i thought of jogging since dunno when and cos of the haze,i cant run..and i'm growing really fat..pw is driving me crazy too..the guys(literally) are kinda irresponsible..they are super passive..i wonder if they know wad's going on with the project.do they even know what they're doing?when we ask them if they understand,they say yes,when we ask them to explain,they say they're not sure..that's just so..................

oh well,i'm off..will blog again soon..ciaox

2006-10-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

yay!!!i'm finally done with my wr..finally one big thing off..but still have to do the presentation slides though..

went to see my grand uncle this afternoon..man..he just reminds me of my grandpa..it's as if everything that happens during last dec is coming back to haunt us again..hopeful his cndition isnt as serious as our grandpa though..hope it's just a small case..eeks..i hate to think if it's the same as what happen to our grandpa..i doubt anyone in the family can withstand the second blow..oh well,shall end here,gonna sleep soon..bye!

2006-10-11T21:05:00.000+08:00

it's the end.no more syf.my dreams dashed.the dream of standing at the stage competing for my school is gone.no more sense of euphoria if i managed to clinch a gold cos there wont be a chance for gold.is this wad we call life?fighting so hard for some things yet to no avail?or is it just my luck?ever since pri 5,i never got the chance to ener syf.whichever cca i join,it just close down.otherwise,there's no syf.

they say that a conversion wont slacken the cca. i doubt so,there no longer is a proper goal in guitar.do u think ppl will strive hard for an aimless goal?wad is a cca without a goal?a course?one which will no longer have enough members?need to resort to poaching ppl from other cca?

life just aint fair.mr wong said he wont influence our decision.yet, the fact that many changed their opinion is due to him.yes,our sgc looks good with many cca.however,will an employer really look at how many sports u know?i doubt so,more likely he'll just look to see if there's any achievements.no achievements=useless.no employer cares how the school cca system work.but how capable u are.no achievements,no awards means no talent.that's the hard fact.not everyone get the chance to go on stage to compete.then again,the fact that many refuses to go on stage is due to the fact that they lack the guts,the experience.

whatever it is,the decision has been made by the 16 students.no more syf.no more bond.the joy in guitar will never be the same.things have changed.we wasted half a year.i might be doing well in other cca if not for this wrong move made.

2006-10-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

how do u normally feel when u've completed ur exam??ecstatic?or no special feeling?i always feel ecstatic,a little celebration with is wad i always do.yet this year,i felt totally indifferent,i only felt drained.totally drained.not a single bit of excitement.weird huh?i wonder why too.perhaps i'm too disturbed by the fact that my school guitar ensemble might soon be converted into a recreational cca.that means our past 6 months of hard work might go down the drain.it sucks.yet the principal says that;s because we're not performing and he wants to save costs.dumb huh?i think so too.but of course,all these arent confirmed yet.discussions with the excos are still going on.hopefully we'll get to go for syf next year.

i wonder, why is everybody so concerned abt results?its not as if ny guitar didnt win anything.at least we maintained a silver.wad's impt is that every time its a different group that is representing the school for competition,how can anyone make comparisons.the standard of the players every year is different.we dun always get sec school players.even so,can we guarantee that they'll stay?so wad if they stay?doesnt that mean that they cant go on to join other cca?cant they go for smth new?why must everything be based on results?a person who is less academically inclined may have talnts that have yet to be found.so wad if that person can do well in exams?its not as if u'll have textbooks and teachers in the working society next time.sometime some things are meant to be realised and searched.no single person in this world is perfect,a person may acknowledge his mistake,work better to mend this mistake,only to find that another problem has surfaced.there will never be a time when u'll find someone who is perfect.anyway,who is to say who is perfect and who isnt?wad is the definition of perfection?principal says that the guitar ensemble hasnt achieve anything.u call silver nothing?then wad is something?gold?and when u maitain the gold?u'll achieve nth again ya?since the definition of nth means u've not improved.its totally dumb.DUMB.DUMB.

oh well,enjoy the weekend ppl..adieu.

2006-09-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

oh yea..i'm finally back after so long..i feel really detached from the comp..suddenly everything around me is abt studies..i'm mugging!!!!promos in a few days time,will be over in 2 weeks and then it'll be time to relax!hopefully i'll pass everything..shall end here.blog after promos.ciaox

2006-08-26T01:18:00.000+08:00

yup,i'm back to update again..really wonder wad's wrong ith me..always posting in e middle of e night..haha..anyway,i'm gonna go hwa chong tmr to watch this song writing cimpetition cos nyjc is competing too!!so our friends wrote a song and they're going to perform it tmr..and for e price of $4,we get to see zhiyang and junyang!!haha..isnt that great?haha..kinda excited abt it though..haha..gtg le..shall post again soon..

2006-08-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

i shld be sleeping now..but i cant cos i gotta edit my pw wr..nth much for me to crap abt now..shall end here.. =)

2006-08-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

hmm..why am i posting at this hour???actually i also dunno..

oh well,national day celebration was our flag day.it was dumb.toally dumb.we had to answer qns at whichever place we got to and man..it was tiring.den went back to school and there was this super mini concert which comprises of a dance,and songs.aint that LAME?

anyway,i'm really getting the mugger spirit.that's..i dunno bad???i dun usually think abt my school work as often as i do now..kept pestering sze yee wih our pw and i think that aint really nice huh?i guess that's brcause i too kan chiong ba..haha..

oh..i'm typing in the dark now..think it's not bad cos i manage to type this whole entry in the darkness and it took less than 3 min??haha..shall blog again soon..(i hope it will be soon..haha!)

2006-07-23T19:09:00.000+08:00

just finished this book called the kite runner by khaled hosseini the story is based in the 1980s in afghanistan where there was some racial discrimination between two subgroups of the muslim community.it talks abt how this boy had a hazara(the racial group which was looked down) servant as best friend and how this servant was loyal to his master.it revolves around how the 'master' betrayed his friend just so that he would be loved by his father.when the 'master' grew up,he went back to search for his hazara friend as he felt guilty abt his cowardice when young....

my book review doesnt sound really amazing abt this story but it's definitely a book worth reading.there are parts in this story where u would really feel like u are part of the story.its really touching and i guess it somehow reflects the life of people living in poverty and war.somehow it brings out the humanity of human too..and it dawned on me how the person u might regard as ur best friend may just betray u one day and leave u alone in times of help.

oh yea..gotta thank sze yee for recommending this book to me and hope u guys will this book some day too!! =)

2006-07-14T14:58:00.000+08:00

went to yzps today to do survey and its changed so so much!gone is my classroom..gone is the corridor where we used to go toilet,gone is the eco-garden..basically,its no longer the yzps i used to know le..anyway,we went there,talked to mr bala,gave him the survey forms and we left.thought it would take abt half an hour to an hour to do everything but it turned out to less than 20 min??

had my first tutorial with the new teacher today and he isnt really that good..he spoke with this 'u'd better know or u're so dead' tone that even if we dun really understand,we dun dare to ask him!!not to say that we dun ask,but we're afraid to ask him to repeat it again and again..his tone is also very 'i thought know' kind.when he explains smth,his tone sounds as if he's really irritated..

oh well,i guess i just have to bear with it for the next half year??haha..

2006-07-04T11:54:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over!!!enjoying my last day of break before school starts again tmr..decided that i need to pack my room cos its getting very messy..went swimming with hwee yesterday and man,we had a hard time meeting up due to e following reason.

1.we were supposed to be meeting at 1030 but i woke up at 1030..-_-"
2.i reached e toa payoh swimming complex at 1130
3.hwee went to the wrong swimming complex.she went to yio chu kang(so i went there)

so,we only met at 1200 when our meeting time was 1030.how wonderful.when everyone was getting out of the pool,we were getting in.so we swam till 1400 before showering and lunched at hougang point.proceeded to our grandma hse after that and crapped our way till 6 plus.

due to our swim at 1200,i'm totally burnt,my shoulders are really red and they hurts..hmm..wonder if hwee feels the same..haha..oh yea,do tag on my bpard,its dying..