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xuanz's blog ♥
Monday, October 30, 2006

finally changed e blog skin and e song on my blog..i'm still waiting for clemmy's pooh skin though..have been troubling him for months le..

went back to school today for guitar meeting..sam went too..so basically e 2 of us non-exco were feeling really weird sitting there..so yea..discussed abt e concert that we're planning..but somehow it went nowhere..meeting ended at ard 10.30 and we crapped all e way till 12..went for lunch with mum and came home..was supposed to watch death note with june and gang but couldn cos mum was sick so had to stay home and look after her..

though holiday has just started,i'm getting bored le..did my math tutorial on fri..some mugging bug must have gotten into my head that day..going to play audition soon..but somehow,this dumb computer just fail to download e programme..keeps hanging..oh well,will crap again some other day??

oh yea,btw,if there's a guitar concert,will anyone care to pay money and go??do tag and tell me k??ciaox
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

back to blog again..frankly,i dunno wad i shld write..today's public holiday so here i am rotting at home..haha..

went to see mrs ivay lim ytd with si hui with regards to our guitar ensemble..she wants us to write her a proposal..how we go abt recruiting ppl to go for syf and stuffs like that..i'm quite confused too..but i guess, so long as si hui know wad's going on,its good enough le ba..

will know if we're promoted or not on thur and heard that there's 3 ppl in our class that will get retained..hopefully,it wont be the case ultimately ba..kinda wishful thinking but yea..miracles do happen..it sounds dumb though..oh well..i also dunno..kinda confused with wadever's happening..suddenly everything seems to be happening at the same time again..been a long time since i felt this way..eeks..its a stupid feeling..
Thursday, October 19, 2006

i'm feeling really moody..perhaps its due to wad's happening to guitar ba..on one hand, mr wong said syf is nth.whether u have it or not,it just reflects that it's a syf and u got an award.then the next minute, the 'niche' performaning arts cca are appealing for members cos they say syf is very good and it'll reflect well on ur sgc..so??who is correct?mr wong?mrs lim?who?while we are fighting so hard to go for syf,ppl are giving us the cold blanket.wth..and they even have this contract member thing..oh fine.its really weird.

its really hazy..i thought of jogging since dunno when and cos of the haze,i cant run..and i'm growing really fat..pw is driving me crazy too..the guys(literally) are kinda irresponsible..they are super passive..i wonder if they know wad's going on with the project.do they even know what they're doing?when we ask them if they understand,they say yes,when we ask them to explain,they say they're not sure..that's just so..................

oh well,i'm off..will blog again soon..ciaox
Sunday, October 15, 2006

yay!!!i'm finally done with my wr..finally one big thing off..but still have to do the presentation slides though..

went to see my grand uncle this afternoon..man..he just reminds me of my grandpa..it's as if everything that happens during last dec is coming back to haunt us again..hopeful his cndition isnt as serious as our grandpa though..hope it's just a small case..eeks..i hate to think if it's the same as what happen to our grandpa..i doubt anyone in the family can withstand the second blow..oh well,shall end here,gonna sleep soon..bye!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006

it's the end.no more syf.my dreams dashed.the dream of standing at the stage competing for my school is gone.no more sense of euphoria if i managed to clinch a gold cos there wont be a chance for gold.is this wad we call life?fighting so hard for some things yet to no avail?or is it just my luck?ever since pri 5,i never got the chance to ener syf.whichever cca i join,it just close down.otherwise,there's no syf.

they say that a conversion wont slacken the cca. i doubt so,there no longer is a proper goal in guitar.do u think ppl will strive hard for an aimless goal?wad is a cca without a goal?a course?one which will no longer have enough members?need to resort to poaching ppl from other cca?

life just aint fair.mr wong said he wont influence our decision.yet, the fact that many changed their opinion is due to him.yes,our sgc looks good with many cca.however,will an employer really look at how many sports u know?i doubt so,more likely he'll just look to see if there's any achievements.no achievements=useless.no employer cares how the school cca system work.but how capable u are.no achievements,no awards means no talent.that's the hard fact.not everyone get the chance to go on stage to compete.then again,the fact that many refuses to go on stage is due to the fact that they lack the guts,the experience.

whatever it is,the decision has been made by the 16 students.no more syf.no more bond.the joy in guitar will never be the same.things have changed.we wasted half a year.i might be doing well in other cca if not for this wrong move made.
Saturday, October 07, 2006

how do u normally feel when u've completed ur exam??ecstatic?or no special feeling?i always feel ecstatic,a little celebration with is wad i always do.yet this year,i felt totally indifferent,i only felt drained.totally drained.not a single bit of excitement.weird huh?i wonder why too.perhaps i'm too disturbed by the fact that my school guitar ensemble might soon be converted into a recreational cca.that means our past 6 months of hard work might go down the drain.it sucks.yet the principal says that;s because we're not performing and he wants to save costs.dumb huh?i think so too.but of course,all these arent confirmed yet.discussions with the excos are still going on.hopefully we'll get to go for syf next year.

i wonder, why is everybody so concerned abt results?its not as if ny guitar didnt win anything.at least we maintained a silver.wad's impt is that every time its a different group that is representing the school for competition,how can anyone make comparisons.the standard of the players every year is different.we dun always get sec school players.even so,can we guarantee that they'll stay?so wad if they stay?doesnt that mean that they cant go on to join other cca?cant they go for smth new?why must everything be based on results?a person who is less academically inclined may have talnts that have yet to be found.so wad if that person can do well in exams?its not as if u'll have textbooks and teachers in the working society next time.sometime some things are meant to be realised and searched.no single person in this world is perfect,a person may acknowledge his mistake,work better to mend this mistake,only to find that another problem has surfaced.there will never be a time when u'll find someone who is perfect.anyway,who is to say who is perfect and who isnt?wad is the definition of perfection?principal says that the guitar ensemble hasnt achieve anything.u call silver nothing?then wad is something?gold?and when u maitain the gold?u'll achieve nth again ya?since the definition of nth means u've not improved.its totally dumb.DUMB.DUMB.

oh well,enjoy the weekend ppl..adieu.